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How to Annoy Akatsuki Members

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Several Ways to Annoy the Akatsuki and its Members! ^^

…Well, this was inspired by MalunaDragon’s piece on how to tick off Deidara.  So, here goes….

Akatsuki:

1. Call them the “Akatuski.”  I know someone who actually does that…
2. Hide their hats when they need to go out on missions.
3. Replace their shampoo with bubble bath.  This will leave their hair smelling wonderful and floral, and if you use the right bubble bath, it’ll probably make Hidan’s hair a bit pink…
4. Let Tobi have more than his daily quotient of Otter Pops and soda.
5. Switch their rings during the night, but put them all on the correct fingers and see how long it takes them to notice.

Pein:

1. Switch around the piercings on his spare bodies.
2. Shine a light off of his piercings and onto Konan.
3. Bug him until he gives you Rin’negan spoilers (hopefully not the painful kind)
4. When it’s raining, ask him if the skies are crying because he wishes Jiraya were gay and he could be in Konan’s place.

Orochimaru:

1. Steal his nail polish (we all know he’s the one who started it…).
2. Ask him why he decided to become a gay pedophile.

Deidara:

1. Tell him that pop art is the only true kind of art.
2. Upload pr0n onto his scope and laugh when Leader finds it and Itachi beats him up for not showing him.
3. Upload gay pr0n onto his scope and laugh when he finds it.
4. Get him a frilly, girly dress for his birthday and capture on film the brief moment when he sees the one thing that he’s always wanted to own and hasn’t started pretending to be disgusted yet.

Sasori:

1. Say that his puppets move, so they’re performance art, and performance art is impermanent.
2. Lock him in a room with Deidara.
3. Mix up all his tools and poisons.
4. Steal his poison claw
5. Give him a bad hair cut – it’s unlikely to grow back.
6. Steal his testosterone supply (it’s in there somewhere…) and accuse him of acting like a girl when you replace it with estrogen.

Hidan:

1. Ask him how not wearing a shirt brings him closer to Jashin.
2. If he has an answer, walk away in the middle of his rant.
3. Decapitate him and sing “Humpty Dumpty” while Kakuzu puts him back together.
4. Pretend you belong to another religion which involves loud chanting, drum-beating, and ceremonial food.  I bet you could get him to fast for about a week….......
5. Tell Kakuzu that there’s money inside of Hidan.  This can come before step 3….
6. Tell people he's polytheistic (believes in more than one god) (idea by Kakashilover01)

Kakuzu:

1. Decapitate Hidan.
2. Knock off a few of his spare organs.
3. Cut off one of his tentacles and play jump rope with it.
4. Steal his money.
5. Steal his highwayman costume.

Zetsu:

1. Ask why you can’t treat them as one person.
2. Act like you have the white side and the black side confused; talk to the black side like it’s the nice one and the white side like it’s the more evil one.
3. Ask if they like to eat mud.
4. Hold a parasol over them and say they’ll get sunburned if they get exposed to too much sunlight.
5. Eat sunflower seeds – or any kind of seeds – in front of them.
6. Buy a bottle of MiracleGro and don’t offer to share.

Konan:

1. Ask why she lives with so many men.
2. Reflect light off of Pein’s arm piercings and into her face.  Or onto her boobs.  Whichever.
3. Call her Konan the Barbarian. (that’s seriously what I thought of the first time I heard her name…)
4. Ask her if she really did go back to see Jiraya when she turned 18.
5. If she isn’t 18 yet, insist that she looks much older than 18
6. Ask her if wearing an Akatsuki cloak is meant to disguise her weight.

Itachi:

1. Ask him how he loves Sasuke.
2. Put him in a room with Orochimaru
3. Steal his hair products.
4. Steal his issue of Girl’s Life (or does he read 17 now…?) and show it to the other members of the Akatsuki.

Kisame:

1. Ask him if eating sushi is cannibalism.  Be very sketchy about how much you believe his answer.
2. Go swimming at the pool.  Chlorine water will get up his gills.
3. Ask what’s wrong with his skin that it turned all blue.
4. Cover him with tanning lotion, go to the beach, and see what happens.
5. Take the skull part off of Samehada – provided that you don’t get hurt in the process.

Tobi:

How the heck do you annoy Tobi?  You could leave him for Orochimaru, but that wouldn’t be teasing – it would be cruel!  There’s no way to annoy Tobi………
If you have anything to add, please note me and you'll get full credit for your addition!

Anyway, MalunaDragon favorited "Brother, Why?" ch. 6 before she could possibly have read it, so I decided to go to her profile and see what stuff she had. "How to Annoy Deidara" was up near the beginning... That inspired this. I tried to be original... I know -- I'm not very original and I couldn't think of much -- and I should probably have put in a bit more about Itachi and Icha -- but I didn't... I'm not very funny when I try to be. So, if you have any suggestions, I would be perfectly willing to add stuff on, or if you have enough, you can make your own! ^^

EDIT: I got two great suggestions on how to annoy Tobi (yes, TOBI!!!) from MarinaStar14, but I think that, because of the way his section works, it's actually funnier if I leave them out. Sorry, MarinaStar!
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Another kisame one ask him If he turned blue the same way flamingos turn pink and ask how he didn't become pink